Batman's Birthday
by Phoenix87
Summary: The league trys to throw a surprise birthday party for the worlds greatest detective. Things don't go quite as they planned. Completed


Hi there readers, before you can enjoy my wonderful story here, I have to bore you with the old 'I don't own them' speech. ~ Ahem ~ I don't own the Justice League, nor any character individually. So don't sue me. Trust me you wouldn't get much.  
  
Batman's Birthday  
  
Superman smiled as he spoke on the phone. He gazed out the window at the earth slowing rotating below the Watchtower, as he formed his plan.  
"Really?" Superman answered the person on the other line. "That's very interesting, I'll just have to do something about that."  
"Good luck" The person on the other end spoke. "We've been trying to get him for years."  
"Yes, but now I'm trying, and as it's widely known, I never give up."  
"As I said good luck." Superman hung up the phone and walked over to one of the various workstations that his friend J'onn J'onzz was looking at. J'onn looked up at his good friend, he could have sworn Superman's eyes were twinkling. He cocked his head at Superman, and Superman grinned in return.  
"So who's all here?" Superman asked J'onn  
"Hawkgirl and Diana are working on Javelin 7, Green Lantern and Flash are in Central City, and sense Batman is not here I can only assume he is in Gotham."  
"Good, Good"  
"Superman what are you up too?"  
"You'll find out," Superman smiled and turned. "When Green Lantern and Flash get back."  
  
"Come on GL you have to admit it's hilarious."  
"No it's not." Green Lantern huffed as Flash tried not to burst out laughing.again. Green Lantern sighed as he thought about what had happened that past hour. He and Flash were patrolling in Central City when he spotted a car swerving around a very crowded bridge. They got there just in time to see the car slam into a turning semi, then speed off. Flash went after the car, and he had the task of making sure the semi didn't turn the other cars into pancakes or topple of the bridge. He reached out with his ring and steadied the semi. Its back end was hanging halfway off the bridge, but before his ring could contained the whole vehicle the back door gave out. A barrel of something, it had been unmarked, fell out and blummited towards the bay. Not knowing what was in that barrel, he had to stop it before it reached the water. He placed the semi, not to mention one confused semi driver, on the bridge and went after the mystery barrel. He gasped as the barrel hit a metal part of the bridge and was sliced open. He rushed to get underneath it and was covered in some green.goo.  
"What the?" he trailed off and contained the barrel, stuff and all, with a green circle. He landed on the ground and began to pull the gunk out of his hair and off his uniform. Then, THEN, Flash came back. Flash stopped and stared at him. Then with that goofy grin, burst out laughing. When he finally stopped, which was because he couldn't breath, his face was the color of his uniform.  
"I'm glad you find this so entertaining." Green Lantern had said  
"What happened to you?!" Flash managed to squeak out.  
"I stopped the semi and this barrel fell out, now I'm covered in this stuff." He pulled more gunk out of his hair.  
"Hum" Flash said and ran, well Flash never ran, he raced up to the semi and talked to the driver, then returned beside him.  
"It's called, appropriately enough, Slime. It's being shipped to Nickelodeon studios." Flash informed him "were they dump it on people." Flash started to laugh again.  
"Flash it's not funny!"  
"I'm forced to disagree" Flash retorted Then he almost answered 'You would have had to get here at this exact moment wouldn't you?' but he managed to hold that in knowing what Flash's response would be. So instead he just growled and headed back to the Watchtower. Jump forward to the present. They wandered around the empty hallways looking for the four other members of their team who should have been there.  
"HEY! Were is everyone?!" Flash belted out  
"Were in the conference room. Been waiting for you." Superman' s voice came from a near by intercom.  
"Okay," Green Lantern said. He turned to Flash "you didn't do any thing did you?"  
"No! And I'm offended by that by the way." They entered the room were Superman, Wonder Woman, Hawkgirl, and J'onn were sitting. Some eyebrows went up at Green Lanterns sticky appearance.  
"What happened to you?" Hawkgirl asked  
"Well!" Flash said ready to tell the terribly embarrassing story. Green Lantern's ring lit up and a green clamp appeared on Flash's mouth.  
"It's not important, what's going on?" Green Lantern asked  
"Were not sure Superman won't tell us" Hawkgirl replied  
"Ca sop te os eh?" Flash mumbled from behind Green Lantern's block.  
"I can never keep you from talking." Green Lantern said as he lifted the clamp.  
"I said, can Sups tell us now?" Flash asked Diana laughed to herself Green Lantern and Flash together where always entertaining.  
"Well sit." Superman said. They did. "I got some very interesting news today, it's seems that tomorrow," he paused for dramatic tension "is.Batman's birthday."  
"Oh, that's why Bats isn't here." Flash said  
"Yes. I thought it would be fun if we threw him a surprise birthday party." Superman grinned  
"You want to throw a surprise birthday party for the worlds greatest detective?" Green Lantern said skeptically.  
"Yes." Superman said flatly  
"Superman," J'onn said quietly  
"I think we can do it." Superman said not hearing him  
"Superman," J'onn said a bit louder this time  
"We only have one day so-"  
"Superman!" J'onn yelled Superman jumped a bit  
"I'm sorry J'onn what are you trying to say?"  
"Batman is here."  
"What were?!"  
"He's walking down the hallway and." The door to the conference room opened and Batman walked in.  
"So that's were you all are. You're having a meeting?" He asked  
"No." Flash said, "what makes you think that?"  
"You're sitting around the conference table"  
"Can't we play a round of poker?!" Flash replied, as he slammed his hand down on the table.  
"I don't see any cards." Batman said folding his arms in front of his chest.  
"Well. that's because J'onn has them" Batman looked at J'onn. J'onn formed this middle, ring and pinky fingers in to a deck of cards and 'held' them up with his thumb and index finger to show Batman.  
"Oh, well I just stopped by to pick up some tools." Batman said staring at the six. "Right." He turned and walked out the door,  
"Few!" Flash breathed "that was close!"  
"Poker?" Green Lantern asked. Flash shrugged  
"Well anyway," Superman went on in a lower voice "Green Lantern, Flash your in charge of food, Diana, J'onn you got the decorations, and Hawkgirl I want you to keep track of Batman. Let us know if he's coming or on to us. This my be our toughest mission yet."  
  
The next day Diana and J'onn walked into a local party store in Metropolis  
"What are we to get?" Diana wondered out loud  
"Superman said something festive." J'onn replied looking threw some streamers  
"This looks festive" Wonder Woman held up some pink and purple streamers.  
"Indeed, but I don't think that shade is appropriate for Batman." They finally decided on blue and dark green streamers and moved to a different part of the store.  
"Humans celebrate in the strangest ways," Diana said picking up a noisemaker. "What does this do?"  
"Blow threw it." Said a near by clerk. Diana did and, despite all her Amazon training, jumped as the most horrible sound came from the object.  
"Well!" she cried, "At least Flash will like them." She put three in their shopping cart.  
"What else is on the list?" Diana asked J'onn.  
"Wrapping paper, bows, confetti." He replied  
"Why by things that only end up as garbage a half en hour after they're used?"  
"A human custom I suppose"  
"Strange"  
  
Hawkgirl flew as covertly as she could over Gotham City. Batman was much harder to keep tabs on then she had thought. She was almost spotted a few times, and wasn't entirely sure he hadn't seen her. All this work for a birthday party?  
  
"Separate two eggs?" Flash wondered out loud  
"I swear Flash if you move them to different ends of the table I'll slap you." Green Lantern said rubbing the bridge of his nose. Cooking, out of all the possible things, Superman had asked them to cook. That was not something that this army man knew well.  
"Hey we don't have any milk!" Flash's voice pulled Green Lantern from his thoughts.  
"What? We had some yesterday." Green Lantern said pulling the door to the frig open.  
"Well there's none now, I think there is some more in the cargo bay."  
  
"I'll get it." Green Lantern said. He flew into one of the cargo bays that were used for keeping food, and found a carton of milk. He lifted it up; it was partway frozen. He sighed, that figured.  
"Lantern!" Hawkgirl's voice flowed through his ear-piece, "Batman is on his way to the Watchtower!"  
"Thanks." Green Lantern rushed back to the kitchen were he found Flash at high speed putting things away, which just looked like a red blotch spreading all over the kitchen. Green Lantern held out the milk, in one movement, Flash grabbed it, and put it in the frig just as Batman walked by. Batman stopped and stared at the two, raising an eyebrow.  
"God every one is acting strange" Batman thought. Now finding people in the kitchen, especially Flash, was nothing out of the ordinary, but they had looked as if he had walked in on them making a nuclear weapon. Batman continued into the kitchen grabbed his coffee cup and poured coffee into it, eyes glancing from Green Lantern to Flash. Flash shifted his weight uncomfortably.  
"So what's up Bats?" He said finally  
"Coffee." Batman replied holding up his cup.  
"Good. That there is good coffee, Columbia I believe." Flashed trailed off and looked around the room. He turned his head back to Batman "Of course I don't drink coffee.don't need to." Batman heard a small sigh escape from Green Lantern  
"Right" Batman opened the cabinet looking for creamer, instead a box of chocolate cake mix fell off a shelf. Batman picked it up.  
"Sense when do we by cake mix?" he asked  
"Um.it's mine!" Flash snatched it out of Batman's hand. Batman gave him a look, the look, the classic Batman 'you better give more of an explanation then that' look.  
"You know, super fast metabolism. there's a lot of calories in this." Flash smiled weakly, then ripped the box open and dumped half of the cake mix into his mouth. Green Lantern held in the laughter that so wanted to come out. The look on Flashes face clearly showed that maybe that wasn't the best idea he had ever had. It was priceless. Where was a camera when you needed it?  
"Yum.yum." Flash said spitting some of the mix out as he spoke. He tried to swallow some of the powder, but there was just too much. All he ended up doing was coughing which sprayed the powder very were in the kitchen. "EXCUSE ME!" Flash raced out of the room with his hand over his mouth. Batman huffed and brushed some powder off his uniform, then dumped out the rest of his coffee, which the storm of cake mix had found it's way into.  
"Well, I'd better make sure the kid doesn't choke," Green Lantern said and strolled out of the kitchen. Batman set the cup down and narrowed his eyes. Something was going on, and he didn't like to be left out of the loop. He was going to find out. Knowing that he wasn't going to get anymore information here he headed back to his plane. As he returned to earth, millions of questions filled his mind about what was going on with the league. The meeting that he had been left out of, Green Lantern and Flash's strange behavior, and the fact that Hawkgirl is trailing him. He glanced at the side windows of his plane, yep still there. She was good at tailing and he was impressed, but when it comes to sneaking around undetected, that was his territory. He decided on a move on the bold side. He landed his plane on top of an old building in a crumbling part of Gotham, got out and waited.  
"Hawkgirl!" he yelled "I know your there. What's going on?" he looked around, she didn't come out, but he saw a shadow move across the street from him. He sighed. Now he was annoyed. "Fine if you want to do it that way." He muttered. Cape snapping in the wind, he turned and climbed back into his vehicle. He'd have to lose Hawkgirl before he returned to the cave.  
  
Hawkgirl scolded herself.  
"You idiot!" She yelled at herself and tightened her grip on her mace. Batman had seen her. He had gotten out of his plane and called her out! She stopped suddenly and looked around. Where was the plane? The sleek black jet was no were it sight. She did a sweep of the area. Nothing. "Great, just great." She thought.  
  
Meanwhile back at the Watchtower Superman, who had been patrolling, Diana and J'onn returned and were decorating and setting up the conference room. Superman fumbled and round with a 'Happy Birthday' banner, as Diana opened a bag of chips and emptied them into a bowl. She held up the bag and looked on the back.  
"Corn, vegetable oil, buttermilk, salt, that doesn't sound very nutritious." She said Superman smiled  
"It's not, but it tastes good." Diana picked up a chip and ate it.  
"Hum," was her reply  
"Here, can you help me out with this banner?" Diana nodded and picked up the other end. They flew up to the ceiling.  
"I little more to the left" Diana instructed. It leveled "Great, J'onn?"  
"Right here Diana."  
"Could you tie it in place please?"  
"Of course." J'onn tied the banner tightly, and they all returned to the floor. Superman smiled, this was going to be perfect.  
  
"Flash!"  
"What?"  
"It's not set to bake!"  
"Oh" Flash turned the knob on the oven and looked into it through the door. Despite every thing, they had done it. An actual cake was baking in there. Green Lantern began to put the baking materials away. He was in a good mood; he grabbed an open bag of flower.  
"Hey Flash." Flash turned and managed to get to answer half of the word, what? When the bag of flower slammed into his chest turning the front of his uniform white.  
"I'm sorry," Green Lantern teased "was that to fast for you?"  
"Oh it's on now buddy" Flash replied picking up the bag. He stuck his hand in, got a good handful then threw it at Green Lantern. Green Lantern ducked, unsuccessfully, and grabbed a bag of sugar.  
  
CRASH!!! Superman jumped almost smashing the decoration he had in his hand. He looked over at J'onn and Diana.  
"It wasn't us." She responded before he could ask. BAM!!! It was coming from the kitchen. Superman raised his eyebrows and walked over to the war zone.  
"NO eggs are off limits!" he heard someone yell. Superman opened the door, and got hit in the face. Superman wiped the egg off his face then looked at his two partners. Flash wore a shocked expression and was covered in flour, milk, eggs, sugar, and other various food items. Equally as messy were Green Lantern and the entire kitchen. Superman took a deep breath.  
"I-" DING!  
"Hey the cakes done!" Flash yelled out before Superman could finish his sentence. They opened the over door. The cake looked like it had risen and baked just fine. Green Lantern took it out and looked it over.  
"He good news is it hasn't collapsed yet." He said  
"The bad news?" Superman asked  
"That towel is on fire."  
"Yikes!" Flash yelled, grabbed the towel, and stepped on it. Superman took the cake.  
"I'll frost it once it cools, and guys?"  
"Yes?"  
"Clean this place up would you?"  
"Okay, but GL started it." Flash said with a grin. Green Lantern rolled his eyes.  
  
"We have cake!" Superman proclaimed when he got back into the conference/party room.  
"We also have a problem." J'onn said, "Hawkgirl lost track of Batman."  
"I'm sorry," She said over the intercom, she was on her way back to the Watchtower.  
"That alright Hawkgirl, he's tricky." Superman answered  
  
"Hum," Batman said looking over the data on his computer screen. It didn't make sense, all the known villains that use mind control, or specialize in the process of making something that could control the mind were all safely in jail, the Madhatter, Brainiac, every one. Even Luthor and the Joker where under lock and key. So then who or what was making the league at so strange?  
"So there you are Master Bruce." Alfred said coming down the stone stairs. "You haven't been staying in the same place very long today."  
"Sorry Alfred, something is up and I need to figure out what."  
"Oh, so you're not avoiding your birthday then sir?" Batman smiled and turned back to his huge computer.  
"I'll take that as a yes. Well, I'm sorry sir, but to bad." Alfred picked up a tray that he had set down when he came in. He placed to tray in front of Batman. On it was a little cupcake with a single blue lit candle sticking out of the top.  
"Not going to sing to me are you?" Batman asked with a grin  
"Do you want me to Sir?" Alfred asked joking  
"No Alfred, no."  
"Well blow out your candle before it melts onto your cupcake." Batman did.  
"Happy Birthday Master Bruce"  
"Thank you Alfred." Batman watched Alfred leave. Good old Alfred, he never forgot his birthday even though there were times when Batman wished he would. Batman pushed to cupcake to the side, he wasn't hungry just then, he was more interested in solving this mystery. His head jerked up suddenly and looked at his cupcake as a thought came too him. No, he decided that wasn't it. Then his intercom light went on.  
"What now?" He thought He pushed the button and Superman face filled the large screen of his computer.  
"Batman!" he yelled, "We need you to come to the Watchtower immediately!"  
"What's wrong?"  
"I'll explain when you get here, hurry!" with that Superman turned off the link.  
"I had better get some answers now." Batman said and headed back to his plane.  
  
"Batman is on his way!" Superman said happily  
"Do you think he's figured it out yet?" Green Lantern said just walking into the room, clean.  
"I don't think so," Superman replied "Were is Flash?"  
"Finishing cleaning up the kitchen he should be out-"  
"Hey guys!" Flash said zooming in  
"Soon." Green Lantern finished.  
"Here put these on." Superman said giving them all hats.  
"No," Green Lantern said  
"That goes double for me." Hawkgirl agreed  
"Come guys!" Superman pleaded Flash grabbed Green Lantern's hat and put it on him before Green Lantern could stop him.  
"Looks good on you GL. It really brings out your eyes." He said with a grin  
"Despite your flattery Flash, I think I will take it off." And he did. Superman huffed defeated  
"Fine I give. No hats."  
"Batman is almost here" J'onn informed them  
"Okay every one hide!" Superman said  
"Why?" Diana asked  
"To surprise him."  
"Okay." She ducked under the table.  
  
Batman entered the Watchtower not knowing what to expect, the whole place was pitch black.  
"Hello?" he yelled A crash responded from the conference room. Hum, was he walking into some bizarre trap? He opened the door, still every thing was black. He lost his patience.  
"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" he yelled and turned on the lights. Diana, Flash, and J'onn were under the table, Superman was behind a chair, Green Lantern was behind a tall plant, and Hawkgirl was behind a cabinet. All had somewhat confused faces.  
"Um..Happy Birthday!" Flash said from underneath the table. "Surprise..?"  
"Wha-?" Batman looked around uncharacteristically noticing the decorations for the first time. "I thought for a second that this might be what you were up too, but.how did you even know it was my birthday? I didn't tell you." He asked the league as they crawled out of their hiding places.  
"I told them" The voice that had been on the phone said Batman's head snapped around he knew that voice.  
"You son of a- Nightwing!" Batman yelled Nightwing walked out of the shadows.  
"It was great. 'What the hell is going on?'" Nightwing laughed  
"I think I might kill you."  
"We never could get you, you were always, always on to us. But I thought the league here could pull it off. They didn't know it was your birthday, and you knew that you didn't tell them it was your birthday. So why would you expect them to throw you a party? It was the perfect set up. I have to hand it to you guys, this is the first time in a long time that he's been surprised."  
"You sneaky little bastard" Batman exclaimed  
"You raised me." Batman shock his head. It was hard for him to admit when he had been gotten, and they all had a hand in it."  
"Well this is certainly memorable, but don't think for a second that it's going to happen again!" he said  
"Of course, of course," Superman said putting an arm around his friend. "Now who wants cake?"  
  
The End 


End file.
